The Myth of Vaginal Tightness
The parable that vaginal canals are alleged to be narrow, compact, petite, and tight are all myths perpetuated by a misogynistic, sex-negative society to form vulva havers who feel self-conscious about their bodies.
Understanding Vaginal Tightness
In additional detail, sexual health professionals bust the common myths behind vaginal tightness. They also outline what to try to do if you genuinely feel that your vaginal canal is just too narrow or the shape (or elasticity) of your vaginal canal is creating discomfort in lovemaking.
What Is the Simple Answer?
If you’ve ever had P-in-V intercourse or any other type of vaginal penetration and found it uncomfortable or painful, you might wonder if your vagina is too small for sex.
The simple answer: No, it’s not.
Some exceptions exist, but a few vaginas are anatomically too small to penetrate comfortably.
What Does “Tight” Even Mean in This Context?
The long-form version of this question is: maybe a vaginal canal too tight (or small) to suit a penis?
This issue is rooted in cis-heterosexuality, as it suggests the only purpose of a vagina is to accommodate a penis, and a woman with a vagina desires to accommodate a penis comfortably!
However, some women report their vagina as too tight if they can’t insert a tampon or other menstrual product comfortably.
“The idea of tightness is subjective,” according to Heather Jeffcoat, a doctor of physiotherapy who focuses on sexual dysfunction and incontinence and author of Sex Without Pain: A Self-Treatment Guide to the Sex Life You Deserve.
If you’re concerned that you’re too tight (or too small), she suggests interrogating the meaning. “What are you noticing?” she asks.
What’s Going On?
It is rare for a vagina to be too tight. However, it’s common for a vagina — and the body — to be unprepared for penetrative sex.
The body requires more non-penetrative play (foreplay) before penetration.
Why Can More Foreplay Help?
In its unaroused state, the vagina is between 3 to 4 inches long, not long enough to comfortably accommodate some penises or sex toys.
But when aroused, the upper portion of the vagina lengthens, pushing the cervix and uterus inside the body more. The vagina grows longer and more comprehensive.
If you’re having difficulty with penetration that makes you think you’re too tight, it might signal you weren’t adequately aroused before trying penetration, not that your vagina is ruled as too tight.
Adequate arousal also releases natural lubrication, making penetration not only pleasurable but possible.
Conditions That Can Cause Vaginal Tightness
1. Pelvic Floor Over-Activity
“It’s common for somebody to mention, ‘my vagina is just too tight’ when the difficulty is that those muscles around the vaginal canal are non-relaxing or overactive,” explains Jeffcoat.
Common diagnoses include having a hypertonic pelvic floor, non-relaxing pelvic floor, or overactive pelvic floor.
“These muscles are often rehabilitated a bit like other muscles within the body that are limited with activity,” says Jeffcoat.
2. Vaginismus
Vaginismus is a pelvic floor muscle condition that will make penetration feel more painful.
It’s indicated by involuntary contractions of the pelvic floor muscles before penetration so that a penis, sex toy, speculum, or tampon can’t enter.
Treatment often involves therapies like sex or talk therapy and the use of vaginal dilators or trainers prescribed by healthcare professionals.
3. Perineoplasty
Perineoplasty may be a cosmetic surgery that involves altering the world between the front and back holes.
Suturing excessively during childbirth, also known as the “husband stitch,” can cause the vaginal opening to become too small.
4. Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs)
To be clear: Infections don’t change the shape or tightness of the vagina. However, they will make sex more painful due to inflammation.
5. Injury
Penetration after an injury or wound can feel painful. Always allow complete healing or consult a doctor for unexpected injuries.
6. History of Trauma
If you’ve ever been sexually assaulted, sexual encounters may be difficult without adequate therapy.
7. Congenital Disabilities
Some vulva owners are born with inflexible or thick hymens, causing pain during penetration.
Tips for Addressing Vaginal Tightness
Elongate Pre-Play
Arousal is a prerequisite for penetration. Build arousal through the following:
- Use lube
- Kissing
- Nipple and chest stimulation
- External vulvar and perineum play
- Temperature or sensation play
Perform Doctor-Approved Exercises
Engage in stretching exercises like child’s pose or happy baby to stretch the pelvic floor passively.
Use Medical Dilators
A doctor may prescribe dilators for gradual vaginal muscle stretching.
Can Vaginal Elasticity Change Over Time?
Yes! The vagina changes over a lifetime. Postpartum and postmenopausal changes can lead to thinner, less elastic tissue due to decreased estrogen levels. Local vaginal estrogen creams or suppositories can restore elasticity.
Could a Vagina Be “Too Loose”?
The vagina does not excessively expand or “wear out.” Changes after labor or delivery are normal but do not indicate a lack of tightness.
Conclusion
Each vagina has a different shape and size, and there is no universal standard for tightness or looseness.
If something doesn’t feel right during sex or penetration, consult a healthcare professional for tailored solutions.
